“Two people lying close together can keep each other warm, but how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer.”
Friendship is truly the basis to any great marriage. Google describes friendship as a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association.
Paul and Esther have been married for ten years, I went to pay them a visit just last night and what baffles me is that they were still all over themselves and I was forced to ask Esther, “Do you mean after ten years of marriage you still play lovey-dovey with your husband? Are you telling me you are not bored or tired of being married to him?” She gave one thought provoking answer, “I married my best friend!” So, I went on a research on friendship in a marriage. .
I discovered that if you want to remain your spouse’s BFF (BEST FRIEND FOREVER), then you have to build friendship through having a deep knowledge of each other, many marriages fail because of lack of knowledge and unrealistic expectations of their spouses and their relationship. Get to know each other in the deepest sense, know each other’s likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.
Physical intimacy must not be left out in your relationship, Holding of hands gives assurance, give frequent and unexpected hugs. The attraction and charm must never fade away. Learn to be comfortable with each other.
Someone once said, “When choosing a husband, count the times he made you laugh.” Friendship also means open and honest communication, a lot of married couples today wish that they remain the best of friends and the closest of companies. No relationship should be closer or more intimate than that which exists between a husband and wife. They should know each other better than they know anyone else in the world.
Here are some questions you should ask yourself – answer true or false.
(1) I can name my partner’s best friends
(2) I know what stress my partner is currently facing
(3) I know my partner’s life dreams
(4) I can outline my partner’s basic philosophy of life
(5) I can list the relatives my partner likes least
(6) I know the most stressful thing that happened to my partner at childhood.
(7) I know what my partner would do if he/she won a million dollars
(8) I can relate in detail my first impressions of my partner.
If you answer true to more than half of the items, your friendship with your spouse is an area of strength in your relationship. If you didn’t do so well, you need to start working on becoming better friends. Ladies, as you fill the slot in your man’s life, his heart will be drawn to you because you help make his dreams come true, this is the secret to remaining the woman of his dreams.
Friendship is the major ingredient that will enable a couple to weather the tough times. Make building the friendship in your marriage or relationship a high priority today.
By Gem Funmilola Oladimeji