I Had Sex With Work Colleague And Confessed To My Husband

Relationship WE HAVE been married for four years and we have a beautiful baby boy. I have made the most awful mistake and I honestly don’t know how to make things right again.

I had sex with a man I work with, afterwards I confessed to my husband. We just cannot get back to where we were before this happened

Please believe me when I say that I love my husband with all my heart. I attended a company function a few months ago, got drunk and had sex with a man I work with. I think my drink was spiked, but I have no proof.

When I realised the next day what I had done, I was devastated. I thought long and hard and decided that the only way I would be able to live with this is if I told my husband.

He was angry, hurt and so disappointed. He left me for a month and when he came back, he said he wanted to try and make the marriage work because he still loved me and wanted the best for our child.

We never spoke about what had happened, which has proved to be unbelievably difficult. We just cannot get back to where we were before this happened. He is suspicious of me all the time. He wants to know where I am, what time I will be home and who I am with.

I have assured him that nothing like that would ever happen again. Though I understand how he must feel, it is really starting to wear me down.

Sometimes when he looks at me I feel as if he hates me. He also will not touch me. What can I do to reassure him that I love him and our child more than anything in the world? Will we ever get over this? – Sad Wife, Randburg
ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU:

When you say you know how he must feel – believe me you don’t.

Until something like this actually happens to you, you will never know how he feels, so don’t expect him to get over this any time soon. Don’t assume how he feels, but try and ask him to tell you how he feels and what he is going through. This will help with the healing process.

You are fortunate that he has come back and wants to save the marriage. I know I sound harsh, but these are the facts.

While I understand that you might also be a victim because you believe your drink might have been spiked, it doesn’t make it any easier for him to come to terms with what happened.

It is not as easy as telling him to trust you when you have broken his heart. The words mean nothing unless they are followed up with actions. If this means that you have to report your every move to him and give up on some of your privacy, then do it.

Sowetan live

  1. Anonymous Reply

    U re slfish sorry 2 say,hw wuld u go ut wit a man nd tak achol wit him nd even over took a married woman 4 dat matter.ur husbnd liks u dats y he cam bck 4 u nd I kw u lik ur man 2,dats y u told him nw u dnt expnt him 2 jst 4gt it so easily but wit tim d luv will b complete but mak every possible tin nt 2 provok him

  2. Anonymous Reply

    PRO-TOUCH ENTERTAINMENT 08063522058 SAYS, Dear woman, your present challenge is due to your loose disposition. you choose fun for responsibility. how come you stopped working and begin to drink? thank God you told him on time. please I advice, have a lab test for infection before you ruin your family finally. Man, an adulterous woman was caught in an act and Jesus asked, if any of you is not guilty of such, pick stone and throw on her… bros, it is time, don’t stigmatize her, if you continue to keep her at arms length, she will take that to be your character and may not divulge such information again to you. men, free your mind, she loves you for real

  3. Anonymous Reply

    to err is human and to forgive is divine .anyway yr truth shall make u free

  4. Anonymous Reply

    IT IS GOOD YOU SAID THE TRUTH TO HIM, THOUGH TRUTH ALWAYS HURTS, BUT BELIEVE THAT HE WILL TRUST YOU AGAIN. ALWAYS PRAY FOR HIM AND BELIEVE GOD TO TURN HIS HEART TOWARDS YOU AGAIN. YOUR HUSBAND LOVES YOU SO MUCH, HAVE NO FEAR.

  5. Anonymous Reply

    am also like as u said out cos if him still love am asure u dat ur realy love is come back,jst be paisetin

  6. Anonymous Reply

    you did the right thing. Believe me when i tell you that assuming you had not told him, the guilt will weigh you more down than your present state of mind. The fact that he came back to you shows that he is willing to give your marriage another trial. Give him time and have a little bit of patiece with him. Things would turn out well.

  7. Anonymous Reply

    U told him d truth, dat should make him love u more. But nija men r fake, very fake sometimes u consider telling dem d truth. Nigerian men love lies, tell it 2 dem ungrateful punks


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