Dear Almighty Sir,
I don’t know what time it is in your area so I’ll simply say good day Sir. I’m very grateful for making me experience 2013 and I’m sorry for all my sins in 2012.
I would have promised not to sin in 2013 but I don’t want to lie because you already know my future.
Please help me be a better and more successful person this year. Also protect and bless my family, friends and fans.
I hereby present some personal issues before you:
1. Will Nigeria be better this year or ever? If no I seek your approval to go and take up citizenship somewhere else but if yes be fast before they empty our treasury and our oil wells run dry.
2. Please help us with the exchange rate. Help de Naira catch up with the dollar.
3. Have you relocated Hell to Nigeria? If no, what are Boko Haram and Kidnappers doing here?
4. Do we allow GEJ do another term? If no please do something before we ‘Occupy Everywhere’.
5. Adjust the brain of our youths so that their savings will end up in bank accounts not boutiques and night clubs.
6. There are more diseases now than brands of condom available. What do we do? Urgent answer required.
7. Please is your son coming soon? We have forgotten the meaning of true love since the last time he came.
8. Please I need your BB pin if possible, I want to send you pictures and links of what pastors and government officials are doing with our money. I guess you already know.
On behalf of my wife and children I say thank you.
Okey ‘Bakassi’ Onyegbule