By Garba Abdullahi Mustapha
My country Nigeria is unique in the actual sense of the word as so many things that happen in Nigeria can only happen in Nigeria and nowhere else, maybe due to the high level of illiteracy or other issues best described by the Creator but it would baffle any right thinking homo sapien how the citizen of this great country stomach all the atrocities our leaders commit and get away with it.
It is only in Nigeria that ex criminals (militants) would be treated better than law abiding graduates that roam the streets with worn out shoes looking for jobs that don’t exist and have no plan of doing so in the nearest future and who said those guys are all ex militants by the way they look some of them do not know what a creek is, where can this happen only in naija.
A country where a sitting state governor can go missing for months with no cogent reason other than that he has gone on leave, common give me a break we have seen this before with a president if the guy is on leave lets him address the state from the ICU sorry beach resort where he is relaxing so they know he is on leave as the Nigerian man would put it “Na by force to rule”.
I am in love with my beloved country where a thief is celebrated with chieftaincy titles and front row seats at worship centres in fact it is a crime not to steal while in office the least you should do is belong to the “largest” party in Africa and amen you are untouchable and can only be caught and punished in the UK, oh Lord I love my dear country.
To be rich in my country you have to be ruthless, cunning and above all you have to be dull yes dull to an extent you can’t fit into any reasonable profession aside politics and alas you have made it to the league of extra ordinary gentle thieves. Congrats.
My country always goes broke after an election why “no be for my mouth you go hear am” but it has always been a reoccurring event that after each election my country crawls as if actual elections were held, results that are declared are designed in where only God and serial election riggers can tell, because if you want to contest an election in Nigeria into a position you are competent to occupy my friend seek alternative citizenship elsewhere Somalia is an excellent choice.
It is only a true Nigerian that is ready to suffer to death so long as the person in charge of his suffering is his brother from a neighboring village what a patriotic citizen suffering and smiling no wonder we are rated one of the happiest people on earth.
How to make
It in Nigeria build filling stations import fuel and collect subsidy funds, as for the fuel you are free to re export and re import same who cares not the NNPC, PPMC or CBN can give you an actual figure as to the amount of fuel imported into the country little wonder why our refineries can never work if you feel this is too tedious young man get an oil block simple.
Despite its shortcomings and challenges I love my country, a country that was handed to us in its shattered form which we promise to transfer to our kids in its best of shapes so help us God.